Huize Märki: Welcome (back)

Hello dear friends and family So... I am totally not sure if I still know how to do this after more than a year..:-) But after some motivation (thank you Allison!), I decided to use Alisia`s naptime for a bigtime update. It`s been a long time, and much has happened since! I know my mom always was a very active blogreader. Because we lived far away, she liked being updated. She very much enjoyed calling me after a new blogentry, and telling me how she liked the pictures or what she read. I just thought this morning, it is a comforting thought to know, that she doesnt have to miss a thing now anymore, because she has the `perfect vieuw`, from up in Heaven.. I know she is a very proud Grandmother, having her first Granddaughter bear her name in hers. I will be sure to tell Alisia often, of the best oma in the world she has, just living in another world. I believe that they have met, I have felt mama close by during my pregnancy, and I feel that mama is close now. Alisia Linn was born wednesday afternoon, the 18th of july, a little over a month ago. A very special date, the birthday of her twins-oncles Michiel and Jan-Peter! It was a long and exausting birth process, since Alisia decided she didnt want to turn her head the right way, but thanks to my dear Lukas, and our fantastic doula, it was an overwhelming, but positive experience nonetheless. I don`t know how I would`ve survived without those two. Alisia came 9 days early and I wasn`t ready yet:-) But I learned, you actually are always ready; it doesn`t need much other things than loads of warmth and love, some milk (which is there abundantly, always the right temperature and no waiting or measurin or warming up needed:-), and a cosy, coddling and safe place to sleep. Some diapers, a cotton blanket and 25 kilos of burp cloths are handy too, but other than those first things, there really are not much `must haves`, for a baby to be allowed to arrive... I did a lot of reading about giving birth the `alternative ways`, and often was reminded of the dozens of woman, giving birth under such different circomstances, than we are used to in the Western world.

Before i maybe must say, that in Holland it is pretty normal to give birht at home. 30% of all babies is born at home. Since Lukas thought this is pretty scary,;-), we decided to go to the hospital. I went to the hospital with a `wish list baby Maerki`, and must say, I was positively surprised how many of my wishes were carefully looked after. Our doula, who is a member of our Church and is in our Stake Bern, was one of the reasons I considered so well about how and how/what not to, during giving birth. A doula is, translated from Out of Greek: `a servant of the woman` and in some countries it is very common to always have a Doula accompany a woman giving birth. Some of the things I did some studying on: For Example: I read about a Missis Lotus from Canada, that invented the `Lotus Birth`. That basicly means she discovered it is proven good to not cut the cord between baby's belly button and the placenta, because there are some important anti- virus and immune system building amounts in there, and also a certain amount of blood that belongs to the child. She vieuws the placentq as an ' organ of the baby' and didnt let the hospital cut the cord. So she basicly transported the placenta and carried it around with her baby, ( carefully treated it with seasalt and oliveoil first, and put it in a bag) untill it let go all by itself. ( The bellybutton cord dried out and , together with or attached to the placenta, it fell off within just 5 days). The hospital gave me about 2,5 hrs before they wanted lukas to cut the cord,they simply put the placenta into a big bowl, and gave us some time, which i really appreciated. Although there are discussions about it being dangerous( blood could somehow make the baby sick), it felt really good to let it stay the way she was born a little longer. I also read about the heartbeat and contraction checkups you are supposed to have during a birth.(And how they radiate(?) like a Wifi and how it is bad and stressful for a baby) In this hospital, they check this every half our( which is a LOT, considering how long a (first) birth takes!).

I noticed myself in a normal control appointment, that alisia didnt like the heartbeat check at ALL. As soon as they put this belt upon my belly, she started moving wildly against the spot where the measurement point was attached, trying to push it away. The assistent told me that all babies do this, she noticed long before, that babys dont like it at all. Now my question was: why put a baby through unneccesary EXTRA stress, during a birth, by measuring her heartbeat when she is already in a stressful posision and needs to concentrate on other things ( like getting out!) ;-) It also disturbed me bigtime, I really wanted to be left ' in peace' and concentrate on giving birth and finding a way to handle the pain, then to worry about a belt and heartbeat that half of the time was MINE instead of the babys and didnt want to be annoyed by that!

I really believe that, since babies are a God given present, mothers are given a God given instict whether or not the baby is doing oK. And also, after giving birth, an God given mother instict for what to do or not to do when the baby is not doing oK. I can testify: you can FEEL how your baby is doing! During a pregnance, as well as during the process of giving birth. And this checking, just didnt feel right. So i was asked to take an official paper to the hospital, signed, that i would be responsible for my own baby if something would happen, If I didnt want this controlling heart beat and contraction check every 30 min. I do understand that docters are under a lot of pressure nowadays and they also experience the worst births, where babys sometimes really (almost) die and they dont want to take any risk. But a C-section rate of 40% (!!!) in the klinik i went to, and of 30%!! in normal hospitals here in Switserlnd, is ridiculous. OfcOURSE there is no other way, in certain special cases, and I am grateful they know how to do a C- section. But it is always an operation and with an operation there are more risks involved than a normal birh! Also, docters earn a lot more money with operations( C- sections)! The Percentage babies that really needs to be safed, is so much lower than this 40 or even 30 %... I read about a gynecologist, who, in his klinic had a C-section rate of 1%!! Now that is more likely a percentage that soulds ' right' to me. So in total, they checked Alisias heartbeat 3 times and the 4th time I didnt let them anymore;-) That is, I arrived in the hospital a 5:00 am (had contractions the whole night and the entire day before) Alisia was born at 3 pm, that means 10 hrs after I arrived in the hospital. The check ups they have done were to me, very annoying and they disturbed me in the process of giving birht. They wanted to check each time for about 20 minutes, but as soon as I heard her heart beat and the belt irritated me, i said; "There, you can hear her heart beat, get rid of this belt now!" :-) But like I said, they very much respected my wishes for the most part and i cant complain at all! -) My doula was worth gold. I would advise every woman giving birht, having a doula for extra encouragement and support. We doubted a long time, because ofcourse it is such a private thing to give birht, and it is nice to go through this as a family, together with your husband. But i seriously dont know how i would've survived, without the support of both Lukas and Doula. It is actually proven, that with a doula there, the C- section rate sinks, and the birht doesn' t take as long. It is really important to constantly have someone ( a woman? who understands) there, during the whole time. i had 3! different midwife- shifts and having that change, having these different ladies explain your wishes, is not very pleasant. But having our dOula there, it didnt matter. She didnt take lukas his place, but instead showed him what he could do to help and support me! Like i said, worh GOLD. Anyone giving birht: I would be more than happy to explain to you allll of the many reasons why it is totally necassary to go and find a doula to accompany you! :-) Okay, naptime is over again:-) I`ll put some pictures in and will get back to you! :-) Maaike

The brand new daddy