His Ways...

Thank you Josien, for motivating me to write a little something again..I really have no clue of WHAT to write, so much things have happened, are happening at the moment that my head and my emotions are mostly one big, chaotic mess.

At first there was Tuesday, the 7th of June.
The day our already so beloved baby, was born. Only 6 months to early. I was a little over 13 weeks pregnant... We feel strongly, no, we know, that our (probably) little boy, is safely put in the Hands of his and our Heavenly Father.
We love him, will always miss him and are looking forward to meeting him one day.

Switserland is celebrating its `birthday` today. Kindoff like the 4th of July, they celebrate their independence, and their `birth` (today, 720 years old).
Everywhere you see flaggs,theres fireworks, organized bands playing and happy people celebrating. But I dont feel like celebrating.

I got to be in Holland from the end of June till beginning of July, a little over 2 weeks. These two weeks turned out to be, the last weeks I was able to spend with my mom, in a more or less `normal` way. Her left hand was playing `funny` on her, she dropped things and it was a numb, but that was it.
The day before I left, she got the results of a MRI scan they made.
: Two brain tumors, at the right side of her haid. With that result, her world, our families world, kind off collapsed. So much questions, so much thoughts. Now, exactly 4 weeks later, there still are lots of questions, more and more thoughts. In within 4 weeks, this `funny hand` became a funny arm, then a funny left leg, then she wasn`t able to walk at all, then her left eyeside left her, and now.. This brave woman is completely disabled. Even her, normally so clear and fast working mind, is leaving her alone. Mom isn`t mom anymore. In 4 weeks time.
So much questions...How much time do we have left to together, how much longer will she be able to speak clearly and know what she is saying? How much longer does she has to suffer? And at the same time: How much time is given us, to say goodby?
We all have to go, return `to dust` and leave this earth and return, as spirit children to the Spirit wolrd. We all have say goodbye, some time, yes. But it seems so incredible unbelievable.. is it really her time, already? She had so much dreams, futureplans, now that she finally almost stopped working.
Gods ways aren`t our ways.
All I , all we can do now, is pray. Pray and Fast. Trust, and have a lot of Faith, that Only He is in Charge, and that His Ways are somehow the Best ways. Even if we can`t see how or why. Yet.

Dear Mama, please stay with us a little while longer... I love you. We love you!

April..does as it will...

so.. since my last entree was sending you happy new year-wishes, josien thougt it was time for me to do some blogging again. and ofcourse she`s right!

In the beginning of february, we went toi holland to celebrate me parent`s 30 year anniversary. (the 12th of February). We spent a weekend at a beautiful hotel with the whole family, except for little nephews:-( We had a wonderful dinner, went to see `the Tourist` at the cinema together, and on sunday we went to a nearby church. They were a very small branch and were happy with the support of us filling up the small chapel. Lukas and me spend a couple of more days at home, I was happy to be able to visit my grandfather, opa van Maldegem, we further visited my wonderful friend Sibylla and her husband, went and had a wonderful dinner at my brothers Michiel and his wife Melina, we got to enjoy our nephews that are getting soo big at Josien and Richard`s. After what seemed 4 very fast days, we drove to Ascheberg, Germany, to visit a lady, Frau Zumdick, that I have lived with for 4 months back in 2003.
She was happy to see us, had invited us over and over again and this was her first time to meet Lukas. We were totally spoiled with wonderfull food (she is the best cook, I gained about 5 kilos in these 4 months that I lived with her!!!) and a trip to a cook castle that I totally forgat about, we went home saturdaymorning and arrived in the evening.
The end of february brought us a `surprisevisit` from my parents, they went to a electro-magnetic-field-mat-Concress in Germany and wanted to stop by on their way back to celebrate my birthday with us, the 4th of March. They spent a week here, and I was happy to be able to show them around and share with them our favorite walks, and other nice things in the area. Since we don`t have a television, they also had lost of time to read in the evenings! It was nice to see them have a good time here.
March was a very exiting month, because we had been planing and checking out a trip to Marokko, Marrakesh for a couple of of months, and had finally booked in january.

Mondaymorning, the 14th of March at 4:00 the alarmclock awoke us to leave and catch our plane. After I think about 3 hours (incl. 1 hour time difference), we arrived at an odd looking airport. From the air, it was very cool to see the different kind of houses (all square, no triangle roofs, and all of them in a pretty, redish, sandy colour). That, together with the land, very dry and sandy, we even thought we have seen the Sahara, made it clear that we landed in a totally different world.

We decided to walk from airport to hotel (about 7 km.) to have a look around and to be able to `kill some time`. We were allowed into our hotel at about 15.00 and we arrived at about 11.00. So that was a perfect gap for a little walk.
Too bad that little walk turned out to be a huge hike, because of google earth having NO CLUE where our hotel was located. It send us to the totally wrong place:) Even most kind and less kind people that we asked, had no clue.
Now you should know, we decided on a `Riad` (old original house where a marrokan family had lived in for generations, now turned into a hotel), was located into the very `hidden` part of an old, old part of Marrakesh. So only few people really knew, where we wanted to go. After about a 5 hr walk, we finally reached our destinatoin. Only to find our Hotel closed, we waited for another 15 minutes untill someone let us in. Afterwards, we laughed about the whole thing, but I was getting kind of frustrating after searching for this non-excisting riad after a couple of hours!
The place was beautiful. It appeared we had the whole house for ourselves!!
We got the key and were on our own! Only the very last day of our stay, another `couple` arrived. There was a lady that took care of us, made breakfast and made our bed every day and changed our towels. She was the sweetest lady, her name was `Lativa`. She lived in the Riad only when guests where there, but was gone to school most of the day.
I have to be honest, Marokko is a VERY Beautiful country. But our impression of the country, was mostely negative. After a couple of days, it even made me very angry and sad, the way we were treated over and over again. Like I told lukas, I am SICK and TIRED of being treated like just another DUMN TOURIST!! Sick of being lied to, sick of people, pretending to be nice, untill the point where you didn`t show interest of buying anything, people almost forcing you to do or buy stuff, you didn`t wanted to do or buy, etc. (like people putting monkeys on your shoulder or spraying hennah on your hands, when you clearly shout NO and run away at the same time. The minute you only look at a monkey you pay money. If you agree that a `nice` person shows you the way when you are lost, you agree on it that you DONT have money on you anymore (that was the truth, lukas started to leave our money in the hotelroom, and just took as much as we thought we needed every day). And after showing us the way for 5 minutes, he wants an ABSURD high amount of money, and gets VERY angry if he doesn`t get it!!! Even though you agreed on it! That happened to us like 4 times. We started to always say no to help, no matter how lost we were sometimes:-) That really made me think, can`t they just show us the way, purely out of friendlyness??? Why is that not possible!?
It took us, but especially me, a few days to realize, that: This is Marokko. This is the way they do things here. It helped a LOT that we were able to meet 2 Marokkan people, that actually were nice to us and you could feel that they MEANT it. They spoke the truth and were just, genuinly nice! I think I wrote in my diary, They Exist! There ARE nice people here! :-)
Maybe it just took us a while to get over the cultur-shock, and `get` the people, understand the way people `tick` and are and work and are used to be like, for as long as they can remember.
And then it started to be fun. :-) We played with them, the way they played with us. I realized, I don`t HAVE to LET me be treated like a dumn tourist!
It was really fun to make this switch and it learned us a LOT.
We mainly stayed in the city of Marrakesh, but also went and planned some trips. For example to the Beach, to Essaouira. Essaouira has been a trading post for almost 3000 years, starting with the Phoeniciansa. It`s a beautiful beach village with cute white/blue houses, a gorgious vieuw, markets and fishers at work. Pooping seebirds (the big, white ones) making lots of noise and some historical sites, worthwile to visit. The harbour was a peace of art by itselve, with the blue botes just lying there.











The second trip we made, was to the Ourika Valley. One of the most gorgious places I have ever seen. On our way to there, we had a magnificent vieuw of the Atlas Mountains. I have to admit, they kind of looked the same, as the Swiss Mountains,:-) but it was very very pretty.

The smells in Marrakesh, were very interesting. The food that was prepared and the way the people smelled and all of the dirty old cars and small motorcycles, combined with the strong smell of horse-pee that almost made lukas feel sick the first night :-).Or maybe it was the combination of all the smells, combined:-) Truly another world...
I loved the `Tagine`-food. Couscous, chicken, with I dont know how many vegatables, cooked on fire very slowly in a special `pan`. The herbs on top of it.. hmmmmm My favorite food. Of course I can`t do it at home, the way it tasted over there, but I took some herbs home and love enjoying the smells of Marakkesh in our home once in a while..
It was a very interesting experience, visiting the place where they made leather out of animalskinns, that were laying around. (Mainly cow, sheep and camel). I will not forget the smell there either... A friend of mine told me, when you have seen that, you will never buy a leather thing in your life again:-) We still bought a beautiful, handmade leather bag for Lukas`s father and a purse for me:-) I also bought some gorgious leather white Temple shoes, and lukas traded his watch (the man was interested immediately after he told him he was from switserland), against some leather house shoes for me and for lukas. (mine are orange and beautiful, lukas are made our of camel leather).

Monday exactly a week after we left, we left our hotel at about 7.00 am for another WALK- not hike, this time:-) to the airport. It had soo many taxis on our way, trying to get us into their taxi, but we enjoyed our last minutes of Marrakesh on foot.
It was, like I said, an amazing interesting week. We saw and learned a lot. The flight back was GORGIOUS since we we able to see the Swiss Alpes very clearly, right as we flew over them. We were happy to be back in Switersland. Feeling extra blessed, to live in a free country, where you can express ourselves, the way you want to. Where we enjoy so much freedom and blessings. Where most of us don`t have to worry about if they have enought to eat, if your children can go to school, learn things, where you don`t have to go and beg `dumn tourists` for money, day after day... ;-)

March ended splendedly, the weather turned from spring to `summer` and that hasn`t ended the day I write. (the 12th of april) We had 1 or 2 days of rain in between, but the rest has been so pretty, that I wonder if this is Summer already and if Fall will come next. :-)
I have radish, lettuce, basil, parsley, prune trees, tomatoes, peppers, spinach, flowers etc. growing on my balcony and having so much fun taking care of it.
At the moment, I am very busy planning a Relief Society weekend for the sisters in our Stake, they are signing up like crazy and I hope the weekend will be so much fun. (13.-15. of May)

I think that was about it.. so far, so good for my update. I will try to better my life Josien !!! ;-)

I will post some pictures, Marokko, and maybe balcony-veggies below. I`m always having a hard time getting right the pictures to the right prescriptions, but I will try!














The leather place where they drowned the leather in pee and poop for a week, to get the grease off...









Shoez out of LEATHER





piep piep piep!
baby-chicken being sold!






Being brave, being hungry: Trying Sheeps Head! Not so bad!!




Ourika Valley












Our hotel:











Breakfast










one of the 100 Stores in de Souks selling... sjawls & leather bags






The souks from the roof! WOW




Almost Back Home!

A HAPPY, EXITING, FABULOUS NEW YEAR !!!

A very happy new year for my few blogreaders!!

Let`s get it out:

I am THE, worst, Christmascards writer, EVER. Period.
I feel guilty every year for, not writing something nice to all these special people who mean so much for me, I feel guilty for not taking the time to Answer all of these sweet people, that have sent me cards and letters...

The end of each new year is indeed a year of pondering the year that is left behind.. Although it might sound cheesy, for me the new year is always a time to very seriously study, adjust old goals, and make new ones.
Take a magnifying glass and study where I am right now, and if I am where I want to be. It is a new but awesome thing for me, to do this together with Lukas. The love of my life.
He makes me laugh, brings somuch joy and happiness into my life every day.
What would I do without him...?

I would like to try and shortly review the past year.
A year goes by so quickly, and before I know it, you forget almost everything that happened and what you (could have) learned from it..

January, was a happy month. Although I was having some immune sysem troubles and having a long lasting cold/bronchitus. It was a very happy month for me.
I had the feeling I could dance and sing and was walking on clouds all the time.
Everything, outside and inside seemed a little.. pinkish:-) I felt good at work, wonderfully rested after the Christmas-break and ready to rock.
A new beginning, a new year, and ohw could this year start more beautiful, could it be any better?

Februar. Although at work and in Luzern itself, the biggest party in the year was taking place, `Fassnacht` or Carnaval, which is HUGE in the Catholic Luzern, I could not enjoy or start to feel like partying.. This was due to an emergency operation I had, the 4th of februar. The day before, they had told me that the reason that I was so happy, was no reason anymore. Our world fell apart a little, and a sad period began.
The docter also found some more endometriosis, and her `sister` adenomyosis, a reason of much aweful and mean pain. I was told that needed to be operated. Another operation wasn`t what I was waiting for, but seemed inevitable..
The 12th of Februar, I planned a trip to Holland for the special reason that Michiel and Melina got married. Lukas came a little later. They got married on the wedding date of my parents! It was a happy day and they looked beautiful. I was indeed really happy for them. Inside there was some sadness still.

March, where I celebrated my very first birthday as a married woman:-) (The 4ht of march). Lukas spoiled me to death. He could love me:-) Having him around and close, talking to him helped me to be less sad. Also, returning back to work gave me the distraction that I needed.

As april came close, the adenomyosis operation date was planned. I was scared at times, wanted to cancel it at times, but knew something had to be done. I promised myself, this would be the last operation in a LONG time! Mama came and supported me. She stayed with us for a week. It was a great help, having her around. We had a fun time together and lukas did also, home alone with his mother-in-law:-)
One memorable night they hunted Ants untill 3 am. They found them EveryWhere! Thank goodness when I was in the hospital. There source came from a nest in the bathroom.. Who`d think they would make it up 5 floors high?? It appeared to be the tall tree, next to the bathroom window!

Being home from the operation 1,5 weeks, with a totally normal movement, my meniscus `locked into` my knee wo crooked and badly, that I couldn`t get it out anymore. Was the cause laying down for 2 weeks? I don`t know...But this I do know:
Give me anything, everything, 10 more endo-operations, more horribly painful periods, the flue for 25 weeks, broken ankles and if I could say giving birth to 20 children, I would. (but I guess I don`t really know how that feels yet;-), ANYthing. BUT - a locked into your knee joint- meniscus..
I seriously, don`t know anything, that hurts THIS Bad. I literally fainted from pain. The ambulance came. Had to help me down 8 stairs into our appartment.
I remember that once in the hospital, they told the nurse she wasn`t allowed to give me anymore drugs for a coulpe of hours. They drugged me as, the same way they would drugg an elefant. And still, in sleep, unconsious, I was screaming like a pig when my knee was moved. Made Lukas have some pretty bad nightmares for a while.
Another operation.
The same ripped and fixed and ripped meniscus, fixed for the 3rd time.
2 months of crutches! Physiotherapy.
Followed by 2,5 - 3 months of handicapped wrists ! Because of the crutches!
Torture. BUT. Everything is good for everything.
I couldn`t work, because at work, I was lifting physical disabled young adults. (not a meniscus job) Working would have been distracting and nice.
But this period of time, forced me to rest. To take a break and think. To give my body and my endometriosis a break from stress (although I sometimes felt, that not being able to do what I wanted and when I wanted it, caused more irritation and stress than EVER! Everything goes sooo slowly if you`re on crutches!
During these months of crutches I had LOTS of time, too much time? to feel sorry for myself, to think about myself, reviewing my life, goals and strategies.. think about what I wanted to chance.
(So I don`t just do that at the beginning of a new year;-)

April/May
Was also the time to decide, where in the big province (kanton) of Bern Lukas and I were going to live and spend, at least the next to years of our life together.
Lukas aimed on `aarberg`. The first time we drove through the town I was not so happy. But that was only a short adjusting thing.. Having to say goodbye to everything we left behind in Luzern already hurted by just thinking about it..
But, that`s life! :-)
We felt very guided by finding a new appartment. It was quite a search, but already the 3rd app. we looked at, Bingo! This was IT for us. We were so blessed by being chosen to become the new owners..

June, Summer
A move was coming up. I was still handicaped. Couldn`t lift things, or I was punished and the inflammation and pain in my wrists became worse. This totally stressed me, but Lukas helped me through it by simply being my hands:-) `Tell me where to put what in which box, and I will do it. NO don`t touch anything, Sit down and let me do it. This was right in between lots of exam- and finishing stress for him.. He is the best. But it didn`t suffice, there was still lots to do and prepare.
As a total surprise, a very dear friend came, helped out. She was like an angel for me. My mom took her, and my best brother Jan-Peter over to help us move.
All 3 of them were angels.

July
I was blessed to behold my newborn nephew, Sven Pieter. I was also blessed with a ride home, to Holland. With my mom, Jan-peter and this dear friend who did all of the driving. :-)
That was a VERY nice break from what was waiting in Switserland..
Returning in our new home there was a LOT to do.. But I had the time!
The days were long, we enjoyed walks in the evenings, enjoyed having eachother.

August
The visitors-month
my friend Sibylla and her husband over here and our tour through the gorgious parlement building in Bern.. (Bern Bundeshaus)
It is open for viewers once a year because of independence day ( 1st of August), which happend to be EXACTLY the time we were there.. So we were very lucky.
We had a great time together.. They were amazed of all the people swimming in the, fast streaming `Aare` river. Which is pretty dangerous, they wouldn`t be the first to die, getting into a whirl or small waterfall, not able to get up to get air anymore.
So we stood and watched them for a while in Bern.. We also had dinner together in our new hometown. The owner happened to be Dutch! And his Swiss wife happened to understand every single thing we were talking about.. She made us laugh... After 3 days our friends traveled to Lucerne to spend some more days and enjoy the vieuw there.
The end of August my sister Krista and her husband Patrick came and stayed with us a while. We had so much fun, and I loved showing them around in this beautiful country. We went back for a boat tour on the Lucerne Lake, and I was homesick for Lucerne again.. We also visited a chocolate factory in Geneve, where you could eat and taste all sortes of chocolate afterwards.. It was so worth it!
Also this month, lukas had to `swear` and afterwards, became an official police officer. It was a pretty day and he had to stand into the burning sun for about 1,5 hours! Afterwards we had a boat ride and had dinner at the same time.

The summer here was beautiful. But fall came quickly.
September, we bought our FIRST car. Our red Dacia:-) We LoVe every detail about it. But most of all, the non-electric windows:D
My wrists finally started to feel like the `old maaike-wrists` again.
Lukas slowly adjusted to his new job.
He felt/ and still feels more and more independent and happy. He knows he was guided to pick the right profession.

October, a friend that introduced lukas an me to eachother the very first time, got married herself. Trip to Holland in our new car. It was great seeing our family and especially our younges nephew again. He is sooo cute!

November flew by. The first cold and snowflakes.
We enjoyed our callings in church in the Young Woman`s and Young Man`s. We have weekly activities on tuesday and are able to drive over there together. In our red Dacia:-) Very practical.

December.
`Sinterklaas` was celebrated with the entire family around in Belgium. It was great meeting up. Soon enough, there were the Christmas preperations. Baking lots of cookies. Which cannot be eaten because of my endometriosis-diet, that I am now following strictly. Lukas decided to help me by not eating any suger himself!! What a great man:-)
With our 3 young woman, we organized the Christmas meeting in Church. It was wonderful. Lots of more snow. End of the year. I am jealous to find out, that it is ice-skating wheather in Holland. Some of the Best childhood memories, on the dutch frozen water, standing on my skates.
Also, a very special little niece was born to Lukas`s oldest sister. Her first child after 12 years of marriage. Little Meryem is so sweet, we got to see her the day she was born!

For this coming, already started new year. I have `some` goals I `d like to share with you. Maybe I have too much goals, like every year:-)
But since I`m job-less anyways, I have something worthwile to do with my time:)

Goals..
To make my endometriosis dissapear to at least a mimimum untill- dissolved all the way. :-D

To be ON TIME.
To become a better student.
To be a better friend.
To become a better blogger.
To become a better sewer.
To become a better housekeeper.
A better cook. A better cleaner. A better christmas-card writer.
A better listener, planer, guitar player, pianist, painter.
To become A gardener.
To spend less time facebooking and studying pictures from friends!
But most important, to become a better person, a better wife and daughter (in law), to become (much) more spirtual, this new year ahead.

Wauw - aren`t my goals sooo SMART? :-)
There are certain steps, existing on how te achieve these goals.. really.
On paper I have a list of goals that.. goes on..
You might think, I`d better hold back some goals for next year and the next, and the next. But somehow, I can`t do it any other way than this. Or maybe I don`t want to?
Too much goals is ME:-)

And too much is still better than none at all...

I wish you a VERY inspiring, adventurous, healthy, awesome and crazy 2011.

I can hardly wait for all the surprises awaiting us..
I hope you feel the same.

See you at the next blog!

Maaike



One of my favorite`s : The Amaryllis...








The brand new niece..





My first Nursing Cover! 100% made by me...




A bright and sunny WHITE Christmas!

Autumn /Fall again..

hello again dear followers,

I don`t really know much to write but I find it time to at least write SOMEthing again..
Lukas and I are doing well, we enjoy spending time together when he comes home from work in the afternoons and evenings. I realize I am a lucky wife having her husband come home every day at 18.15! Sometimes when he has to work weekends, all of a sudden he has free on monday and tuesday!.. So very wonderful.
The newest news is, that I got a very early Christmas present....
We now are the lucky owners of a piano!!! It is so near to a `real piano` the way it is played, the touch and the sound. I`m loving it.. It even has a pedal, and allows me to play whenever I want to, because you can pluggin a headphone so I won`t disturbe the neighbours too much f.e. late in the evening..
The girl nextdoor plays drums, and one neighboor above plays trumphet, so I am not afraid to make some piano`noise` during the day:-) It is so fun playing more often again. I noticed I was losing my skills. They called me to be the pianist/organist in church, and I could`t play all the hymns flawless without practicing!
The `thing` hanging above the piano is my newest handy. There is just 1 danger, it can become a mess in a very short time, but it`s soooo practical putting and storing sheetmusic/books/magazines in.. It love it. I got 20% on it, and it still was a very expensive buy in the deco-store in our town, (40 CHfranks) but it was worth it.
What is also fun, we picked up playing the guitar a little bit. Lukas is way better than I am, but it stood around in the living room just staring at us.. doing nothing.. I was asked to play `come come ye saints` and some other songs for this
Relief Society thing in the woods, remembering the Pioneers.. That forced me to start practicing again and ohw how much fun it is! :-) The blessings of the gospel..
The Swiss Fall has been treating us so nice.. we had the most beautiful sunny shinging fallweather and took a lot of walks through the forest around the corner. We even biked to church yesterday, it was so nice and warm.. (about 15 km. one way)

We gave our new, white wooden furniture its place and it`s so pretty! I`ts just like it belonged there long before it stood where it is standing now:-) The `table with mirror` is standing next to my bed and I made an `earring-holder` (heart) to put on it. (it`s glow in the dark too!!) The lady in red we bought in Holland, very handy for neckless etc. Inside her skirt there`s place for more hanging earrings/rings!

Our little red Dicia takes us everywhere we need to go.. It withstood the test of driving to Holland last month, as we visited for a quick couple of days to attend a wedding of a friend. It was so sweet to be home and meet with the family, especially my two little nephews. I loved spending time with them!

When Krista and Patrick visited in August, they brought me a very special `leaf`.
It is part of a plant, that belonged to my grandmother who passed away last year.
At first it stood in water for a while, so that it could get roots, but it seemed to die on me for 3 times. I cut it off and was patient, and finally planted it about a month ago. I thought nothing happened, untill, to my surprise I lifted the big leaf and saw.. somthing growing underneath!! I am so happy about this that it deserves pictureproof here! :-)

Furthermore.. we just enjoy spending time together and just are very happily married! We bake, cook and try (Zopfen or braid? a very popular bread here in Switserland, see picture), or the delicious orange pumpkinsoup sometimes, I even draw again (flower) .. Life is great. I can`t believe it`s been over a year, and realize we must LIVE every minute more consious that we are ALIVE! I bought a card once in Hamburg and it`s standing in the living room so that I can read it often. It says:
Gib jedem Tag die Chance, der schoenste deines Lebens zu sein!
(Make it possible for every day, to be the best day of your life!)
Pretty good huh?

I`ll post some more pictures of things around that are new.
For example, I went and picked up our very first printer last week! We didn`t need one desperately, and if/when in need : lukas is allowed to print something at work.
But it`s good to have one and it already makes life even more convinient and handy!
There`s a picture of how they transport sugar beets here, it was such a long train!!
The town where I got the printer had a super beautiful church. (the white one). It is standing in `Soloturn`.

So that was it for today. I have some curtains to sew, the goal for today was to finish that so I`m going to give my best!

Have a great sinterklaas/Christmas preperation-time everyone and make the best out of.. Today!

Love,
the maerki`s












































-----